Recently I’ve been sharing my own personal journey of letting go of the emotional stresses of 2020 on Instagram. Unfortunately, without realizing it, I found myself staying in a constant, hypervigilant state. My physical and mental health took a back seat to whatever minor or major business or life stressor that emerged.
It feels kind of shameful for me to admit this. I mean, the name of this company is Wendi’s Good Things Market, isn’t it? Shouldn’t Wendi, in fact, have it together all the time and be able to create joy every day?
The truth is that I am on this journey of creating goodness and joy just like you are. There are times in my life when this was a habit. I thought I would never slip back. Yet, here I am, having to relearn how to prioritize peace, calm, and wellness. It’s not about just prioritizing it, but resisting the urge to fall back into old thinking and behavioral patterns of jumping up and doing at the hint of anything wrong.
I am happy to report that I am a good six days into a new way of thinking and behaving! Lol!
Ok, so I have a long way to go to make this new way of thinking and behaving a natural part of life again. So today, I'm sharing some things I am doing differently that seem to be helping make some of these changes.
1. Allowing others to solve their own problems
When did I start thinking all the answers, solutions, and work was up to me? This week I got an emergency text from my restaurant stating they were out of pineapple. There is a manager on duty, yet this message was coming to me. This made me stop and think about how I have been the one who has helped create this dynamic. It’s up to me to stop the dynamic by stopping giving answers and solutions to people who can solve problems without me.
2. Concentrated "me" time
Without noticing it, I was taking calls and texts during my workout times (plus all other hours of the day). As a result, my anxiety level stayed elevated ALL THE TIME. I’ve had to become more disciplined with boundaries about my own time. One hour a day without interruptions is not selfish. On the contrary, it makes me a better person and helps me create joy in my daily routine.
3. Hold others accountable.
I found myself picking up slack when others were not following through with their obligations. Sometimes it was just easier to get it done myself. Sometimes I just wanted to avoid putting stress on someone else. Friends, we are only one person. If we hire someone or count on someone else for projects and do not follow through, we cannot keep picking up the slack. Confronting this issue is a form of self-care. We are not martyrs or better people for doing it all.
4. Monitoring my physical and emotional state
If I just take time to rest, I can go be on fire again, living my best life. However, continuing on mindlessly in a state of fatigue and anxiety produces mediocre results. This ends up making me feel bad about myself. Taking time to rest or breathe deeply allows me to be present with life. Being present with life is necessary to really feel joy. Even in these short 6 days of changing my habits, I"m beginning to remember how to create joy for the life I've loved living.
5. Surrounding myself with people who are going in the same direction
Have you ever gone on a walk with a friend, and by the end of it, the two of you are so pumped up on something that you can hardly stand it? Before now, I found myself giving more upbeat emotional energy to some people than they returned. Sometimes that’s how it is in relationships. However, we are not superhuman. Eventually, we need the same energy returned. Surrounding ourselves with chronically hopeful people is contagious. So, I made a list of upbeat people I know, and I reached out to them to hang out.
6. Being honest with where I am
This feels a little bit like a 12-step recovery program to say this, but I have really had to put down the mask of perfectionism and admit to my failings. Guys, it is so much relief to just be honest about where you’re at than to keep appearances up. These appearances are time-consuming and take us away from the real work of getting our good thing together! I've often heard it said lately that we shouldn't announce our new goal, just do the work...as if there is some honor with keeping our personal journey completely private. This may work for you, but I've learned that keeping things quiet, keeps my growth stunted. I am hopeful that by sharing my truth, we can create a community of people that work on wellness and joy together. I love the vision and idea of that. It encourages me to be honest, authentic and share. What do you think?
7. Praising myself
That’s right. I’m spending time congratulating myself for every small victory. Waiting for outward praise and encouragement may never come. Instead, we need to recognize and encourage ourselves. Instead of continually reminding myself about how I know better than being in this position, I remind myself that I have the ability to do whatever I put my mind to.
8. Letting myself off the hook
As a person who scores high in responsibility on the strength-finders index, not having x done for this person or x done for that person often plagues me. Not only that but there are other tasks like weeds in my flower beds or washing my car that make me feel bad for not having done. First, I am giving myself a pass. Next, if I get at least one thing done, I congratulate myself. The truth is, the list will keep growing. I will never get to the end of it. I need to accept what I have the capacity for and be okay with that.
I hope sharing my own personal journey helps you in some way. I would love to hear from you. Have you found yourself in a similar place lately? What strategies have you employed? Respond to this post or DM on Instagram (@wendiseger or @wendisgoodthingsmarket). I respond to every message. We alone have the power to create joy and calm in our own lives. Let’s keep working to create happiness.